The truth is, as you probably guessed, it’s not possible.

This post is not for the orderly homemakers out there. It is for the messy ones. The ones like me.
I can easily let my surroundings descend into chaos. Oh, it’s not intentional, and it’s usually for a reason, but I tend to allow the chaos to continue for too long for the good of the peace of my family, for its functioning, and for it to be easy to reverse it to order.

Very often the reason for the chaos has expired. We were sick. We were helping someone else who was sick, maybe over a long period of time. We started some project or other, and either lost interest or just didn’t have time to get back to it. Yet the project, with all its tentacles, still haunts us with its presence. Or whoever we were taking care of got better or passed away. Or we are no longer sick. But the chaos lingers. 

        Some of us really have a good excuse for a messy home; and I don’t pretend to have the answer to every situation. Some women are not well, physically or emotionally. Many are working mothers, and by the time they finish cleaning up after dinner and getting the kids to bed, crawling into bed can seem like a chore! To those who simply cannot get their homes in order, my heart breaks for you! I’m sure it doesn’t add to your joy in life. I hope that maybe a few of the things I write might help in some small way. Mostly I encourage you to get help. Either from your husband, if you have one, or from your children, or from the local church. That’s one of the things it’s there for. Don’t be too proud to ask for help. (It’s a sin!) 

But for most of us, the excuses are just that. Excuses. I used to blame my husband… not because he isn’t a big help, because he is! No, he is Mr. Energizer Bunny. He never stops, and drags me here there and everywhere. I felt like I could never catch my breath. 

But at some point, we have to let go of the excuses and get our act together, and the sooner the better. It will not hurt us. It will help us. 

Another thing. We continually try to get into shape. We bring the kids somewhere, maybe pay for a babysitter and  a gym membership. 

Well, getting up off our butts to work on our home counts too. And I’m sure you’ve heard, sitting is the new smoking. 

Hold on a minute – I have to get up and go straighten up.

Ok I’m back.

Here’s the thing: our chaos doesn’t help us be functioning, helpful human beings. For example: honestly, those of you who are really messy, tell me – how much time do you spend looking for things? How much money have you spent replacing things you know you have somewhere?

How much effort do you put into decorating your surroundings? If you are like the majority of modern American women, a lot! I know I do. It’s one of my favorite things to do! But think about it. No. Just look around. How visible is all your beautiful decorating? I guarantee you, if it’s messy, that’s all people will see. And that’s all you will see too. 

A sloppy home is truly counterproductive. 

So what to do about it? As a former messy (I say former with reservation; the tendency still rears its ugly head!) I can tell you, I have researched what to do about it over the decades of my housekeeping/demanding career/working mother/taking care of elderly parents/taking care of husband, children and grandchildren/church involvement, life. I should gather all the books on it that I have read! (Marie Condo would not approve of my collection!) I’m the type of person who enjoys researching a topic more than acting on it. But each and every one of them has helped me, and tremendously. 

The best resource that I recommend is flylady.net. The first of her simple rules is to make sure there are no dishes in the sink to greet you in the morning, and, in fact, to shine it so it looks nice. She has ten steps to start getting it together. I still practice them. They are life changing.

I also love Don Aslett. Not only does he teach you how to keep a home orderly; as a former janitorial service owner, he tells you how to clean it! Best of all, he teaches in an entertaining way (as does flylady). AND he gave me permission to throw out old Bibles! (Well, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I buried a well-tattered one of my mother’s in my yard.)

Marie Condo is a little over the top with her spareness… but she has taught me valuable things too. Do you love it? (Does it spark joy?) If not, toss it. And she will reuse containers, like cardboard boxes, to store things. I’m always looking for nice-sized, good looking if possible, boxes. And I store them for future use. I think it’s worth the real estate. 

You know when I love my home the most? The day after company. That, my friends, is the best you’re gonna see it. My one problem is that at the last minute,  I shove whatever I haven’t gotten to, out of sight. Which leads to more chaos ultimately. As I get my house in more and more order, the hidden “temporary” piles are less and less. 

When my mom died, I had to clean out her house. What a job! She was a bit of a hoarder, and had 97 years to do it in! (Mostly clothes- she was a clothes horse! She had enough to wear something different every day for a year!) I made up my mind I’m not doing that to my daughter. So I am on a mission to slowly and deliberately clean out every nook and cranny of my house, while I am young enough to do it. It’s very liberating, to let go of things I’ve clung to for maybe 50 years!

Which leads to my final point of the day- one of flylady’s mantras – You cannot organize clutter, you can only get rid of it! 

Start tossing Baby! 

I will post some of my own simple steps next time. But right now I need to go clean out a drawer!

Please leave any suggestions that have helped you motivate yourself in the comments below. You never know what help they might be to someone else.